Woohoo I'm excited!

Ok not so much, tonight Rob and I need to shovel a bunch of dirt and empty it around the house. Grading for the new rock we are going to put down and to keep water from getting in the basement, there is already a crack in the foundation. To top it off yesterday when getting home I noticed a huge crack in the driveway, yep when the truck dropped the dirt off it cracked. Nice! Sharon my mother-in-law is taking Ian for the night so Rob and I can get a good amount of work done uninterrupted.

What I am excited for is going to the MOA tomorrow with my bestie Cheri and my future daughter-in-law. Yep Chloe will be marrying my Ian when they are old enough of course. Then on Sunday we are going to my Aunt's for a surprise Birthday party for my grandma which should be interesting considering she's turning 80 and has dementia pretty bad. It's sad really. She gets very mean, thinks everyone in the assisted living is sleeping together (which is funny if you think about it) and she is hallucinating quite a bit. Tells us stories about how these men are always moving the trees outside her windows. My mom says they are thinking they may need to move her to the memory care center soon. Which really stinks because she won't be able to do what she really wants. But as of now she pretty much stays in her room. It takes her 3+ hours to pick out what she is going to wear for the day.

Hopefully Sunday will turn out nice and she doesn't have a heart attack when we all yell "Surprise"

Update on the family: Ian will be 18 months on the 9th which I truly can't believe, seems young to some but for me well he's getting to old. Next thing I know he'll be 2! He's babbling more, says a few words, but the fun part has come, the hitting and throwing of things. We of course tell him no but other then that I don't really know what else to get him to stop. For example, this morning I was on the computer at the kitchen table and he was next to me babbling and whining. I ignored the whining and next thing I know he's hitting my side. He wanted to get up in the chair with me and play on the computer (push random buttons) I of course told him "No, we don't hit." So other then that I don't know if there is anything else I should do or say.

Rob is doing well, Loonatix is done as of today and the equipment is all going down to Al's house tomorrow. I'm happy about it but sad at the same time for Rob's sake. He's looking forward to new things but sad that this chapter of his life is closing.

Please pray for Stellan...

He is not doing well right now. His heart has been in SVT (super ventricular tachycardia) I too suffer from this from time to time and it is rather uncomfortable, annoying, makes you feel awful, but mine don't get as rapid as his does. From MckMama's posts Stellan is ashin, gray, body temp is down and kidney's are not functioning properly because he's had SVT for 3 days straight now. No meds are bringing it down.

Please please pray for this family!

Emotional

So I'm sitting here watching "16 and Pregnant" yeah I know bad but it's just one of those shows I'm stuck on. Either way it brought a lot of my feelings to the surface. Recently I had a IUD placed, I know it's not permanent but would at least like to get our money's worth and keep it in for a year. Either way the emotions that came to the surface had me bawling like a baby. Reason being.....I WANT ANOTHER BABY. Yes I know I should be thankful for what I have, I have a beautiful, happy, smart red headed boy.

Rob and I decided to not have another baby right now, well we decided this a month or so ago when we started having more money issues. We both know that we are not financially stable enough right now to have/support another child. God knows that we have enough love and room in our hearts for another baby. Which in reality really sucks! I am so mad with the economy right now, not being able to get raises, not being able to get a better paying job, mortgage companies and loan companies coming down on us. The price of EVERYTHING going up. There is just not enough.

I know that some day we WILL have another child. But at the same time Ian is already 17 month pregnant and I don't want my babies to be many years apart in age.

Sorry for all my rambling, and whining....but hey isn't that what this thing is for? To get your emotions, feelings, drama, thoughts out on?

Changes....painful changes.

So I decided I needed to get back on birth control, I hate using condoms as does Rob and the pill and I don't agree much. I did good on the ring but with our new insurance it is quite spendy so I opted for an IUD, not only can it last up to 5 years...we don't plan on using it that long....but I don't have to worry about taking yet another pill on top of the 8 I take a day already. So I first opted for the copper as it had no hormones....then when reading message boards and such about it I decided it really wasn't for me, as it causes heavier periods, may be allergic to copper, and some other things. The Mirena, has only one hormone and it's a very low dose. I did good with the ring so the dr. said I should do excellent on the Mirena.

So I had to get this done during my period...which is embarrassing enough, then the gyn had to dilate my cervix........OUCH!......then measure my uterus and then put it in there. Ok the only part that hurt was the dilation, I didn't even feel him put in the IUD. Thank God, because I heard/read horror stories about that too.

So now off to have spontaneous sex...well once Aunt Flo goes away...she may be around for a bit as the IUD and my body become use to each other. Oh and another perk....Mirena helps you to get a shorter lighter period if even one at all.

Ok, on another note, this past Monday Ian got bit for the first time at daycare. I have been waiting for this to happen. Working in daycare for years I knew either he would bite or be bitten it was just a matter of time. He got a nice bit mark on his cheek which turned purple the first day and is now lightening up. He is doing very good, but when he comes home from daycare he is very clingy for the first hour he's home, and guess what...he only wants mommy. Which is fine with me most of the time, but last night was rough since I was hurting and cramping a ton from the IUD, but Ian was cool with just snuggling with mommy in the rocker with his blankie, boo and nuk. We try not to let him have his nuk unless he's sleeping but heck I didn't want to deal with screaming and crying last night.

Rob is doing well, Loonatix will be done as of July 31st and then the last cd will be coming out. I'm sad it's ending for his sake but happy that we will have a garage, and no one just in our garage at various times of the night and day. No more cigarette smoking and leaving their butts for me to pick up in our rock garden (that pisses me off more then anything)

Fun weekend. Well kind of.

Friday night Rob's mom and her boyfriend Adrian came to visit. They missed us and missed Ian. So they came for a bit and Ian was a crab butt. But perked right up once he got to have a half of a brownie. He was freaking hilarious.

Saturday morning we were all up, Ian did sleep until 7am so that was nice. I got up with him and let Rob sleep. Rob got up and had some breakfast and in the mean time I got in the shower. When I got out Rob told me that he had thrown up. He thinks it's due to his multi-vitamin. He's been getting nauseous from them lately and I got a different brand this last time I went. Got the store brand rather then name brand. But either way he's going to stop taking them.

Ian and I then left to go meet up with my sister in law Trina and my nieces, Meghan, Haley and Sabrina. We met at Maple Grove Community Center, they have a indoor playground. It was a blast for the kids. Then we went over to Taco Bell for lunch. Ian went home with his Auntie Trina and cousins for the night so Rob and I could have a date night. Thank God for family. I love them so much and we owe them big time. Rob and I went out to dinner at Gluek's in downtown Mpls. and then to see the movie "Hangover." It was hilarious. When we got home I was a little hungry so ate a handful of chips and then off to bed. Only to wake up at 3am with horrible sweats and stomach hurting. So off to the bathroom I went. I then proceeded to get sick for the next hour. It was the kind of puking where you never ever feel like you are going to stop.

I didn't eat anything until about 1pm on Sunday. Then ate some dinner but didn't even eat half of it. When we picked up Ian at 2pm we found out Ian had also spit up last night. Not sure why, but it was just milk. He was super crabby tonight but I think with the combonation of 6 teeth coming in right now and being overly tired it didn't work well for him. He didn't even eat dinner. Took a bit or two and then had a few strawberry slices before bed but that was it. Very surprising for him. I really hope he's not getting sick.

Well we are off to another work week, I have a psychiatrist appt. Tuesday morning and Ian has his 15 month shots....a month late..... on Wednesday. I'm sending Daddy to do that one. Mommy can't handle seeing Ian in pain like that.

New start..

Yesterday Ian started his new daycare. We were very sad he had to leave Sarah's as she is going on to her internship this summer. So we decided rather then find a daycare just for the summer we would move him for good. Hard decision but I think it's a good one for him. He seems to be doing really well. When I dropped him off yesterday he decided to come bearing gifts for his new daycare mama. So off we went to change his diaper first thing. Which of course I offered to do but she insisted. He had a wonderful day, went down for his morning nap with no problem and slept for 2 hours, she said she kept going in to check on him because she was surprised he was sleeping so long. So she ended up not putting him down for a afternoon nap and Ian was pretty crabby last night and then woke up screaming bloody murder twice last night. Poor little guy. I don't know if his teeth are coming in or what. He doesn't let us touch his mouth or look so it's hard to tell. On Saturday when him and I were playing I thought I saw some swollen gums back by his molars but when I tried to get a better look well he wasn't having it.

Rob and I are doing great, we still have some spiffs here and there but it's always over silly things. Rob made the decision to end Loonatix once and for all and told the crew this past Saturday. I was pleasently surprised when he told me over a week ago he was planning on doing this and this time he is sticking to his guns no matter what the other guys say. I'm very proud of him. His heart is just not into it anymore. His heart lies in computers and graphic arts, so he decided to start 2 new websites for just that. Hopefully he can make some side cash. He does have a show this weekend but then that's it until August some time when they will have a Loonatix ending party/Phatty retirement party. Should be fun.

I'm not doing a whole lot right now, just normal everyday stuff, get up, go to work, come home, clean, eat dinner, get Ian ready for bed etc. We've been working on our yard and I've been trying my luck at growing some tomatoes, stawberries and flowers. Of course we have no garden so it's all in pots. I really want our next house to have a spot in the backyard for gardening.

On a positive note my new meds are working wonders. I haven't had any anxiety for quite a bit. Haven't have do take a Klonapin in over 2 weeks. Woohoo! Maybe just maybe we have found the right combo of drugs.

Spoke to soon.

Well last night I wrote a new blog saying how good things were going. I had some stomach issues yesterday but just figured it was due to me having my period and well to be honest, lots of gas. Well when we were on our drive home last night from Rob's moms my stomach started to cramp pretty badly and then when we were only a mile from the house it was cramping so badly I felt like I was having contractions. I ran into the house and took care of business and felt much better. Later I enjoyed some ice cream with Rob and suddenly felt ill once again. I went upstairs to try to read and relax. That didn't last long before I knew it I was throwing up. I think it was a mix of not feeling well mixed with a panic attack.

I was up through out the night so needless to say I'm at home today, relaxing and trying to rest.