Monday, May 4, 2009

Spoke to soon.

Well last night I wrote a new blog saying how good things were going. I had some stomach issues yesterday but just figured it was due to me having my period and well to be honest, lots of gas. Well when we were on our drive home last night from Rob's moms my stomach started to cramp pretty badly and then when we were only a mile from the house it was cramping so badly I felt like I was having contractions. I ran into the house and took care of business and felt much better. Later I enjoyed some ice cream with Rob and suddenly felt ill once again. I went upstairs to try to read and relax. That didn't last long before I knew it I was throwing up. I think it was a mix of not feeling well mixed with a panic attack.

I was up through out the night so needless to say I'm at home today, relaxing and trying to rest.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Feeling great!

Wow I haven't been able to say that in a long time. Seriously though things are going good for me right now. I started a new medication on Monday and so far so good. It made me pretty dizzy at first, but that is one of the side effects. So as of now I'm just taking it at night and then in a few days I will take one in the am and one in the pm. It's making my anxiety well great. Yesterday afternoon I had a tiny bit but nothing I couldn't handle. I've also been sleeping much better which makes my day even better.

Ian is doing wonderful, he's walking all the time, hardly ever crawling anymore. We've cut out his morning bottle and he now only drinks from a sippy during the day and has one 6 oz bottle at bedtime. He is eating all solids and of course loving it. Boy can he eat. It's kind of making me want another one now that he is growing up so much.

Recently I was contacted by a family member, I family member that I don't remember. A family member that when I was 5 we cut this side of the family out of our lives. This is my dad's side of the family. And now my cousin on that side has contacted me and I've been learning quite a bit. Not only from her but from my mom. Now that I have some more of the stories I never knew answers to part of me wishes I never found out but the other part of me is glad to know. Glad that we did cut that out of our family. Granted with Daddy dying almost 10 years ago now, gosh I can't believe we are months shy of it being 10 years. Unbelievable how time flies. Either way I do like talking with her and maybe some day I will meet with her in person. But it makes me sad what she went through as a child and teenager. It makes me so grateful for my family and my upbringing. Thank the good Lord above I had a good childhood. Because I could of had it so much worse.

I really need to work on my religious beliefs. Which is very hard to do because when your significant other doesn't believe and shows no signs of wanting to it makes it difficult. I know I need to do it for me and me only. And to teach my son he has a choice to believe or not to believe. I still would like to have him baptized and maybe one day I will but with me not belonging to a church I don't know how to go about doing that.