Christmastime this year has been amazing so far. This year we are celebrating Christmas in Sheboygan WI. Where Rob's father's side of the family lives, well half of them anyways, we switch off every other year between WI and MN. But for a 6 hour drive yesterday it wasn't to bad. I of course decided to start yesterday off on a bad note, I was doing ok until it came time to pack up the car as we waited for Rob's dad and step-mom to show up. My panic attack set it. Rob was in the shower and here I was hovering over the garbage can puking out my brains. I just hate this anxiety, it's seriously the pits, not to mention the night before I spent a hour and 1/2 at the minute clinic to be seen. Only for them to send me out of there with no antibiotics. Just some over the counter stuff which I have and home and was using.
Thankfully though we have a Dr. in the family and many 3 more on the way. So he was generous enough to call me in a Rx for abx at the local walmart. I'm already feeling better from that, my anxiety has been manageable so far today. I just need to keep myself busy and not eat to much and we'll be good. But being with family is truly the best thing. Yes there are a lot of different should I say personalities but for the most part we all get along. Most of us say exactly what we mean. Well on Rob's side of the family. When we are with my side of the family it's very prim and proper and granted we still have lots of fun but there is no swearing, no pot smoking etc. But hey it's nice to have the two families and to learn to adapt to each. Let me tell you many years ago when we began dating this was very hard for me. But I have loosened up maybe more then I should at times!
But Christmas is just a fun time in general, all the food, the gifts and most of all.....celebrating our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Yes I have put him on the back burner I DO need to start going to church again, start bringing Ian, getting him baptized because I want him growing up knowing that there is a higher being then ourselves. If he chooses to not believe or believe in a different higher being that is fine with me I'm not going to hold that against him. I want him to make his own decisions just as my parents let me make my own decisions. I truly think that has made me who I am today. You learn by your mistakes, I will always be there to guide my child as to what I think may be best for him. See my mom did this with me and of course in my teenage days I did exactly what I thought was best for me, not always what she thought was best for me. And sometimes it worked out in my advantage and other times it did not.
Now I know what she did this, she wanted me to learn, she wanted me to be able to make my own decisions and to always think through everything, the pros and cons to the situation. I want to say I'm a stronger person today because of that.
Wow I kind of went off subject there, but hey it's what I do.
Ian is doing wonderfully here in a new place with lots of people. He is now talking up a storm, granted a lot of it we still don't' understand but some we do. He does do really well when we ask him to say words he will mimic them. I can't believe he is going to be 2 in February already. It just blows my mind. Like today when he figured out how the light turned on and off by opening and closing the pantry door, there was no switch to put pushed up or down but there is a little peg that when the door opens and closes it turns the light on and off. We hadn't shown this to him but he found that little button in a matter of minutes and then he began opening and closing the door, going in and closing the door behind him etc. I could just see the gears turning in his mind.
Rob and I are doing good, we still struggle with my anxiety and the hindrance it puts on our marriage and social life. He tries to be supportive but many times he gets upset (which I understand) because I do too. A lot of the time they come out of no where and the things my mind worries about and decides to panic about are truly nothing I should be panicking about at all. I just wish he were a little more supportive but I do think that sometimes his "tough love" is exactly what I need.
Off to spend more time with the family, eat some more food and play some more games. Thankfully Ian is still napping even with all the noise.....lots of loud voices in the house......
God bless you all.