Changes....painful changes.

So I decided I needed to get back on birth control, I hate using condoms as does Rob and the pill and I don't agree much. I did good on the ring but with our new insurance it is quite spendy so I opted for an IUD, not only can it last up to 5 years...we don't plan on using it that long....but I don't have to worry about taking yet another pill on top of the 8 I take a day already. So I first opted for the copper as it had no hormones....then when reading message boards and such about it I decided it really wasn't for me, as it causes heavier periods, may be allergic to copper, and some other things. The Mirena, has only one hormone and it's a very low dose. I did good with the ring so the dr. said I should do excellent on the Mirena.

So I had to get this done during my period...which is embarrassing enough, then the gyn had to dilate my cervix........OUCH!......then measure my uterus and then put it in there. Ok the only part that hurt was the dilation, I didn't even feel him put in the IUD. Thank God, because I heard/read horror stories about that too.

So now off to have spontaneous sex...well once Aunt Flo goes away...she may be around for a bit as the IUD and my body become use to each other. Oh and another perk....Mirena helps you to get a shorter lighter period if even one at all.

Ok, on another note, this past Monday Ian got bit for the first time at daycare. I have been waiting for this to happen. Working in daycare for years I knew either he would bite or be bitten it was just a matter of time. He got a nice bit mark on his cheek which turned purple the first day and is now lightening up. He is doing very good, but when he comes home from daycare he is very clingy for the first hour he's home, and guess what...he only wants mommy. Which is fine with me most of the time, but last night was rough since I was hurting and cramping a ton from the IUD, but Ian was cool with just snuggling with mommy in the rocker with his blankie, boo and nuk. We try not to let him have his nuk unless he's sleeping but heck I didn't want to deal with screaming and crying last night.

Rob is doing well, Loonatix will be done as of July 31st and then the last cd will be coming out. I'm sad it's ending for his sake but happy that we will have a garage, and no one just in our garage at various times of the night and day. No more cigarette smoking and leaving their butts for me to pick up in our rock garden (that pisses me off more then anything)

Fun weekend. Well kind of.

Friday night Rob's mom and her boyfriend Adrian came to visit. They missed us and missed Ian. So they came for a bit and Ian was a crab butt. But perked right up once he got to have a half of a brownie. He was freaking hilarious.

Saturday morning we were all up, Ian did sleep until 7am so that was nice. I got up with him and let Rob sleep. Rob got up and had some breakfast and in the mean time I got in the shower. When I got out Rob told me that he had thrown up. He thinks it's due to his multi-vitamin. He's been getting nauseous from them lately and I got a different brand this last time I went. Got the store brand rather then name brand. But either way he's going to stop taking them.

Ian and I then left to go meet up with my sister in law Trina and my nieces, Meghan, Haley and Sabrina. We met at Maple Grove Community Center, they have a indoor playground. It was a blast for the kids. Then we went over to Taco Bell for lunch. Ian went home with his Auntie Trina and cousins for the night so Rob and I could have a date night. Thank God for family. I love them so much and we owe them big time. Rob and I went out to dinner at Gluek's in downtown Mpls. and then to see the movie "Hangover." It was hilarious. When we got home I was a little hungry so ate a handful of chips and then off to bed. Only to wake up at 3am with horrible sweats and stomach hurting. So off to the bathroom I went. I then proceeded to get sick for the next hour. It was the kind of puking where you never ever feel like you are going to stop.

I didn't eat anything until about 1pm on Sunday. Then ate some dinner but didn't even eat half of it. When we picked up Ian at 2pm we found out Ian had also spit up last night. Not sure why, but it was just milk. He was super crabby tonight but I think with the combonation of 6 teeth coming in right now and being overly tired it didn't work well for him. He didn't even eat dinner. Took a bit or two and then had a few strawberry slices before bed but that was it. Very surprising for him. I really hope he's not getting sick.

Well we are off to another work week, I have a psychiatrist appt. Tuesday morning and Ian has his 15 month shots....a month late..... on Wednesday. I'm sending Daddy to do that one. Mommy can't handle seeing Ian in pain like that.

New start..

Yesterday Ian started his new daycare. We were very sad he had to leave Sarah's as she is going on to her internship this summer. So we decided rather then find a daycare just for the summer we would move him for good. Hard decision but I think it's a good one for him. He seems to be doing really well. When I dropped him off yesterday he decided to come bearing gifts for his new daycare mama. So off we went to change his diaper first thing. Which of course I offered to do but she insisted. He had a wonderful day, went down for his morning nap with no problem and slept for 2 hours, she said she kept going in to check on him because she was surprised he was sleeping so long. So she ended up not putting him down for a afternoon nap and Ian was pretty crabby last night and then woke up screaming bloody murder twice last night. Poor little guy. I don't know if his teeth are coming in or what. He doesn't let us touch his mouth or look so it's hard to tell. On Saturday when him and I were playing I thought I saw some swollen gums back by his molars but when I tried to get a better look well he wasn't having it.

Rob and I are doing great, we still have some spiffs here and there but it's always over silly things. Rob made the decision to end Loonatix once and for all and told the crew this past Saturday. I was pleasently surprised when he told me over a week ago he was planning on doing this and this time he is sticking to his guns no matter what the other guys say. I'm very proud of him. His heart is just not into it anymore. His heart lies in computers and graphic arts, so he decided to start 2 new websites for just that. Hopefully he can make some side cash. He does have a show this weekend but then that's it until August some time when they will have a Loonatix ending party/Phatty retirement party. Should be fun.

I'm not doing a whole lot right now, just normal everyday stuff, get up, go to work, come home, clean, eat dinner, get Ian ready for bed etc. We've been working on our yard and I've been trying my luck at growing some tomatoes, stawberries and flowers. Of course we have no garden so it's all in pots. I really want our next house to have a spot in the backyard for gardening.

On a positive note my new meds are working wonders. I haven't had any anxiety for quite a bit. Haven't have do take a Klonapin in over 2 weeks. Woohoo! Maybe just maybe we have found the right combo of drugs.

Spoke to soon.

Well last night I wrote a new blog saying how good things were going. I had some stomach issues yesterday but just figured it was due to me having my period and well to be honest, lots of gas. Well when we were on our drive home last night from Rob's moms my stomach started to cramp pretty badly and then when we were only a mile from the house it was cramping so badly I felt like I was having contractions. I ran into the house and took care of business and felt much better. Later I enjoyed some ice cream with Rob and suddenly felt ill once again. I went upstairs to try to read and relax. That didn't last long before I knew it I was throwing up. I think it was a mix of not feeling well mixed with a panic attack.

I was up through out the night so needless to say I'm at home today, relaxing and trying to rest.

Feeling great!

Wow I haven't been able to say that in a long time. Seriously though things are going good for me right now. I started a new medication on Monday and so far so good. It made me pretty dizzy at first, but that is one of the side effects. So as of now I'm just taking it at night and then in a few days I will take one in the am and one in the pm. It's making my anxiety well great. Yesterday afternoon I had a tiny bit but nothing I couldn't handle. I've also been sleeping much better which makes my day even better.

Ian is doing wonderful, he's walking all the time, hardly ever crawling anymore. We've cut out his morning bottle and he now only drinks from a sippy during the day and has one 6 oz bottle at bedtime. He is eating all solids and of course loving it. Boy can he eat. It's kind of making me want another one now that he is growing up so much.

Recently I was contacted by a family member, I family member that I don't remember. A family member that when I was 5 we cut this side of the family out of our lives. This is my dad's side of the family. And now my cousin on that side has contacted me and I've been learning quite a bit. Not only from her but from my mom. Now that I have some more of the stories I never knew answers to part of me wishes I never found out but the other part of me is glad to know. Glad that we did cut that out of our family. Granted with Daddy dying almost 10 years ago now, gosh I can't believe we are months shy of it being 10 years. Unbelievable how time flies. Either way I do like talking with her and maybe some day I will meet with her in person. But it makes me sad what she went through as a child and teenager. It makes me so grateful for my family and my upbringing. Thank the good Lord above I had a good childhood. Because I could of had it so much worse.

I really need to work on my religious beliefs. Which is very hard to do because when your significant other doesn't believe and shows no signs of wanting to it makes it difficult. I know I need to do it for me and me only. And to teach my son he has a choice to believe or not to believe. I still would like to have him baptized and maybe one day I will but with me not belonging to a church I don't know how to go about doing that.

Finally warming up...

Well MN weather is well MN weather, one day it can be cold and the next it's in the 70's. Yep that's why I love living here. I love that we have 4 seasons. Granted this year we didn't feel like spring was ever going to come it is here and hopefully here to stay.

Life is going well, my job is good, my family is blessed. Ian is doing great, he's walking, laughing, crying and just his normal self. He is everything to me. I am so blessed to have him in my life. We are trying to wean off the nuk and morning bottle. When he is at daycare he doesn't get a bottle or nuk. At home we are trying to only give him his nuk at bedtime. As far as the bottle goes, he still gets 6oz at night and we are down to 4oz in the morning. This next week it will be 3 oz and then the week after 2 oz. and then we will just cut it out all together. Then I hope to start working on the evening bottle.

Rob is doing well, he is on a weight loss challenge at work and has lost some weight, he is riding his bike to and from work each day, he has cut down on his portions and eating his meals more slowly. I'm not sure how much he's lost total but he's doing it and slowly the pounds are shedding off. Which is great because he is overweight and it does effect his health and all I want is for him to be healthy and happy so he can be here for his family as long as God plans him to be.

I'm doing better, having fewer moments of anxiety but when I do get them they can get bad. Other times I can manage them. I see my Dr. at the end of this month and we may add another med to the mix.

So all in all, life is good.

It's been awhile....

So life is good. My anxiety at the moment has been pretty good. I am currently seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist and going to a anxiety support group every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. I am really trying to nip this in the butt, dealing with it since I was gosh well forever and now I just need to be happy and healthy. I can't have anxiety run my life, run my families life etc. Also I don't want my anxiety and panic to get in the way of my marriage, yes it is a strain on my marriage at times. Which I totally can understand because it is very frustrating for me I can only imagine what it does for him.

Ian is doing good, he has started walking with out holding onto anything this week. He is so darn cute when he does it too. He looks like a zombie with his arms out in front of him for balance. He now has in 6 teeth, 4 on top, 2 on the bottom.

Rob is currently on a weight loss competition at work, he's really doing good in cutting down on his portions and trying not to eat unhealthy foods. He's eating slower also and that seems to be helping quite a bit. I am so proud of him, granted he has a lot he wants to lose, I think he can do it if he ups his exercise. As of now he's not doing much but the portion control and such is doing good. He's lost about 6 lbs so far.

Work is going OK, one of my very good friends was fired. I so enjoyed working with her, granted we both had our moments of moodiness we got through it. We laughed so hard we would cry, patients thought we were crazy. But work is going fine, it's more difficult but I'm learning a lot of new things, staying busy which makes the day go by super fast which is always nice.