It's been a hard week. It started out with work being very overwhelming and stressful. Not to mention busy of course. I was busting my butt this entire week with work. And I noticed my friend and coworker was acting "off" on Thursday morning I had confronted her about it, asking her if she was ok if there was something I had done to upset her or if something was going on at home that she wanted to talk about. She said "No, that she was just busy." The day went on and as it was still very busy I was actually beginning to get ahead. Which is always nice. Then 3:30 rolled around and I was on the phone ordering some scans of some sort for a patients chart and my manager comes by and asks me to come to the Practice Administrators office when I was finished. I of course thought it was for my review. Since it was suppose to be done in mid December but it usually takes a few weeks from your date to get the review. I knew I wouldnt' be getting a raise because we are on a freeze right now, which is understandable but always hard. Well I was shocked when I went in and it wasn't my review.....I was being given a wake up call. I was being written up!
Now that is never easy for anyone. I feel I do so much for my job, I go in each day, do my job and get it done, I also am a back up scheduler for when others are out and I help when computers are down or someone needs something fixed or updated on their computers. No remind you I don't get paid for these things. Which is still hard because I do take time out of my day to do these things. But hey it can only help me in the future. Either way yes I am at fault for why I got written up....for being on the internet, for having a snappy attitude at times when people come up to ask for me to do something. And yes I DO need to work on these things.
Now the part of being written up is not what is bothering me, I can change those things, I can make them better because I can't lose my job over those silly things. What hurts me worst is I feel as if I have lost a friend. A very good friend at that. I'm not really sure as to why I have lost this friend. As far I know she doesn't even know I was written up. I think she may have seen me crying when I came out my bosses office but I can't be sure. I never told her about the write up, only because she hasn't been talking to me all week and I feel as if I did something wrong, what that is I don't know. I have asked her and she said nothing but I still have a feeling there is something there and she just doesn't want to tell me.
It is truly eating at my soul. I feel terrible. I find comfort in this friend, being able to have someone to talk to. But at the same time part of me wonders if she had something to do as to me getting written up. Reporting some of it. Which she has every right to but it still hurts because I truly would never do that to a friend. I would rather confront her about it myself and tell her how I feel. Because that's what friends do right? So maybe I don't have a friend in her, I though I had with going out with her, going to the casino and lunch.
Well I'm not sure if I should confront her now or just let it all blow over and see where it goes from there. What sucks the most is she sits right behind me we are within 5 feet of each other.
Any words of advice?